Painful and stressful experiences create “body armour”, where the body contracts on a physical and emotional level. Over time, these contractions start to form bands of armour inside the tissue of the body which hold patterns of fear, anxiety, neediness, withdrawal, and avoidance.
Unresolved trauma or sexual stress are a common barrier to experiencing pleasure during sex.
The body is naturally equipped to release trauma/stress through movement – shaking, crying, moving, moaning. Often we do not allow the body to naturally “cleanse” itself off unwanted experiences by suppressing our emotions. We end up storing the trauma/stress in our body and creating a neuromuscular pattern of bodily contraction.
Since the vagina is a muscular tissue canal, women often store unresolved trauma/stress there. Unresolved sexual trauma/stress can show up in all kinds of ways:
- Bodily & vaginal numbness
- Discomfort or pain with penetration
- Vaginal “lockdown” – a vagina which refuses to open
- Clenched jaw, tight belly, shallow breathing, pelvic floor tension
- Low libido or sudden loss of it
- Inability to become aroused or sustain arousal during sex
- Sense of annoyance or fear when being touched
- Sense of distrust towards lovers
- Difficulty achieving orgasm
- Lack of lubrication
- Feeling less sensual, less creative, disconnected
- Menstrual, PMS and menopausal issues
- Cysts and growths and other reproductive ailments
- General feeling of overwhelm or disgust towards sex
READ HERE why your vagina might hurt during sex.
Carrying unresolved trauma/stress, we are unable to soften and fully let go. Our bodies are always on guard, untrusting, hard-shelled. We feel “stuck” and are unable to feel arousal towards our selves, our partners, and life in general.
Since trauma/stress sit in the body, talking therapy is often not enough to fix the problem. To work through the sexual trauma/stress it is best to seek professional help to first identify the trauma and its symptoms as well as ways in which it affects one’s daily life. Every person’s traumatic experience/s is unique to them. Depending on the individual, there are various support options available from talking therapy with a qualified trauma specialist to tension and trauma release exercises, psychosexual bodywork, and even slow conscious (self) love-making. Often a combination of all is a powerful healing modality.
The most powerful approach to trauma/stress work is the one which involves an integration of the mind, body, and heart. It is a w/holistic approach to wellbeing and thriving – a celebration of the resilience of the human spirit!
Remember, we are in this together. You are never alone in your pain.
I love you,
