Vibrators are like croissants.
Croissants are super delicious however not the healthiest food in the world. They are a naughty pleasure treat best enjoyed occasionally. Vibrators are a similar pleasure treat.
A vibrator is a great pleasure tool until a woman cannot orgasm without it.
We live in a world of instant gratifications – overnight purchase deliveries, ready-made meals, 3-minute rejuvenation face-masks and 1-minute orgasms. For decades, vibrators have empowered women to experience orgasms. What could be wrong with that?
One can orgasm with a vibrator while unaroused, watching Netflix, wearing sweatpants and eating a pizza. It is an instant gratification and a pleasure high.
As a sex educator and orgasm coach, I work with a lot of women who struggle to orgasm, especially during partner sex. With the added pressure to orgasm fast, they end up relying on vibrators for an orgasmic release.
Orgasming exclusively from a vibrator means one’s sexual experience is limited. There is a risk that, eventually, partner sex or masturbation become unsatisfactory for a woman unless a vibrator is involved.
Inability to orgasm leads to bedroom anxiety and feelings of sexual inadequacy. Often, due to this emotional stress, women avoid sex all together opting to secretly masturbate instead or fake orgasms with their partner.
Since we hold so much shame around our sexualities along with the pressure to be amazing lovers, inability to orgasm is an embarrassing secret amongst women. Many do not share it even with their closest girlfriends. Thus, dependency on vibrators for orgasms is rarely discussed even though it is very common. Women end up feeling broken and isolated in their struggle.
Being dependent on vibrators for orgasms is like being dependent on coffee in order to feel awake in the mornings or relying on alcohol in order to have fun at a party.
In reality, a high state of sexual arousal is the secret ingredient to orgasms whether solo or with a partner. This state of mental sexual arousal determines the bodily response to sexual touch. If you are aroused, the body welcomes sexual touch. If you are not aroused the body is dull in its reaction. Frequently when partners ask for “foreplay” what they are actually asking for is enough time to build up a mental and physical sexual arousal in their body in order to feel pleasure during sex.
Due to the vibrator’s high-intensity sensations the state of mental and physical arousal is often skipped. There is no need to be turned on in order to orgasm with such a toy. It is that strong!
Over time, with consistent toy use, the body begins to rely on such high-intensity stimulation. A bodily habit and expectation are created. Eventually, more subtle and gentle sensations from hands or mouth no longer seem to gift enough pleasure especially for an orgasmic release. A woman will experience her genitals as being numb or dull. She will feel frustrated and impatient with her body. In order to orgasm, she will use the vibrator, often on the highest speed, and a vicious loop is formed.
Vibrators are like croissants because they are a naughty pleasure treat. They must be approached with an awareness of their immediate and long-term effects on the body. A vibrator orgasm is as delicious as buttery dough of a croissant. However with consistent use they can create an orgasm dependency, limiting a woman’s ability to experience pleasure without them.
While some women can orgasm with or without vibrators quite effortlessly, there is a large category who are struggling without the toys. To these women I advise to use vibrators occasionally. It is possible to re-train the body to accept more variations of stimuli as pleasure.Going forward, every 5 times that you are sexual, use vibrators only 1 time. The rest of the time it is hands, mouth, tongue and non-vibrating dildos.
Truth is, a woman’s body is capable of the most exquisite pleasure experiences. By overusing vibrators, we are stagnating these experiences and getting stuck in a sexual comfort zone. This kind of high-intensity pleasuring is not wrong. It it simply the tip of the iceberg of the female pleasure potential and I want to inspire all women to tap into so much more!!!!
Enjoy your buttery croissant treats.
Enjoy your vibrator orgasms.
Explore your body deeper and beyond!
GIFTS FOR YOU:
- Explore an online pussy self-massage course to explore orgasms beyond vibrator pleasure
- Check out the book “Slow Sex” by Nicole Daedone to understand how subtle touch can send waves of pleasure across a woman’s body
- Book a Skype consultation with me to explore expanding your body’s pleasure potential
Bon Appetit, kittens!