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Sometimes the feeling that our desire for each oth

Sometimes the feeling that our desire for each other is faded is nothing more than wrongly directed desire - desire for quick gratification elsewhere - social media, online shopping, netflix. Here is THE BEST tip I can give you today - agree to do a one month technology detox together. This means no tv, no netflix, no laptops and no phones every day after 7pm for an entire month. (I’ll allow music 😜). Direct your ACTUAL attention to each other - read next to each other, go for walks, workout together, play with your kids, cook a new dish together, spend time with others, discuss the sexquestions from my ebook, pick each others boogers but for fuck’s sake dont spend your evenings scrolling on your phones or amazonprime. You’d be surprised at how such a simple change will improve your lovelife. (In fact its so damn simple that people refuse to believe how effective it is. We’ve been sold on this idea that having a good sexlife involves loads of money, therapy and tantra. Perhaps for some people it does but before you do all that, try this first). Its free!
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Screen time sacks your time, your energy and your attention (and money!). No wonder you dont feel sexy by end of the day. I have a personal rule of no laptops nor phones in bed EVER except setting the alarm. It works wonders!!! My bed is for reading or lovemaking which means if you forgot your book, you better take off your pants 😂😂😂
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Do a technology detox for a month. I know you are afraid of boredom however boredom is the motivator for lovemaking!!! Boredom is potential. Boredom is an open door for creativity. Boredom is the best thing to happen to you both. I hope you get soooooo damn bored that doing each other will be your best option! 😜
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Let me know how it goes. Love you.
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Ps. Get off the phone. Get off each other.❤️😜🥰
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📸 by @libkos❤️

When you treat novelty sex as the status quo, you

When you treat novelty sex as the status quo, you don’t actually take the time to understand your own libido - you assume that novelty is “how it should be”. At the beginning you don’t feel like you need to learn more, as you are humping like rabbits anyways. 🤪
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People assume that “working on your sexlife” is superfluous due to the “hot connection they have” at the beginning of the relationship. But that connection fades....What then?!?! Thus, most people can go their entire lives never really understanding their own libidos - their true turn ons, fears, insecurities and desires. We don’t actually take the time to think what sex means to us, what makes sex pleasurable and WHY.
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I wrote my first book exactly on this subject - to help lovers understand themselves better, and to have the sexconversations which MATTER. 🥰A lot of questions in my book are the questions I ask my clients during our zoom sessions.
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The ebook questions are for lovers but I highly recommend doing them on your own if you are single. Imagine that I am asking you. 🤓Pick 3-5 questions per night and journal or simply muse on your answers. You’d be surprised how little you know about yourself! Time to find out!!! LINK IN BIO 🥰

The highly horny novelty period in a relationship

The highly horny novelty period in a relationship is not and SHOULD NOT be considered the status quo or the “ideal sex life”.
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Novelty sex binging is not sustainable in the long term nor needs to be for sexual fulfillment. It is like an all-inclusive breakfast buffet binging on a holiday - hoarding plate after plate of food mixed with bottomless mimosas AND extra pasty AND oysters AND omelette with all the toppings AND that jelly looking thingie works till your belly is about to burst and all you want is some soda water and a lemon after two weeks. Having shrimps for breakfast is only fun for a week 🤢🤮
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We binge the same way with a new person - dive deep into a sexy buffet. After some time our libidos actually normalize and calm down to what they were before we met this person. This is the moment many couples begin to freak out because they think something is wrong and must be fixed. We become anxious, mistrusting and resentful demanding that our partner be a certain way so that we feel safe, loved and sexy.
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If we treat noveltysex as the ultimate relationship goal we will forever be chasing that high with casual sex or feel resentful in committed relationships when it is gone. Neither is a good solution. We’ll continue to fail with every book and course which promise to “bring back the fire” - total load of crap. (I repeat- novelty is NOT the secret to fulfillment)
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Our libidos are like waves - they come and go - sometimes high, sometimes low. Forever changing. The goal is to ride the waves together and stay calm, enjoy the ride and chill the fuck out. Otherwise you fall off and drown. 🙏🏻
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📸 by @libkos ❤️

Flowing sexual desire is a dance between partners.

Flowing sexual desire is a dance between partners. We must step apart in order to want to step towards each other again. When we are distant we crave closeness. When we are close we crave distance.
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Thriving couples are able to dance this out effortlessly knowing that both distance and closeness are phases that pass, like the steps in a dance. 100% sexual closeness all the damn time is a fairtale and only works at the beginning of a relationship mainly because you’ve been apart your whole lives until you just met. (Some of you might have even uttered the words of “where have you been all my life?!?” in this phase. Cute eh? 🙃). During novelty there is a period of insatiable closeness. However It is not sustainable nor should be. Things begin to gradually even out as the time passes and we NATURALLY begin to crave distance.
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Post fight hotsex is a great example of that close/distance dance - the desire to merge with your boo after a period of total emotional distance.
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Think of what a healthy dance will look like for you in a relationship. Do you crave more closeness or distance? WHEN, WHY & HOW? ❤️
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Main issue is that we tend to take the distsnce phase as something wrong or scary. We become anxious. For some people distance is as simple as the need of alone time for half an hour. For others it looks like the need to have their own friends or their own bedroom or their own vacation without their partner. Each person has their own. This is something for you to discuss with your boo tonight. 🥰

Whoever is thinking of starting a podcast, take a

Whoever is thinking of starting a podcast, take a listen to @herascensionstory podcast as this woman throws some of the most epic questions and creative questions to her guests. @herascensionstory left me struggling for words during the interview. It was an honour to be on her podcast. Take a listen and head over to her insta to give her some insta lovin’. ❤️❤️❤️ Lets support each other, not just post quotes about it, eh? 😉
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📸 by @paeulini_official

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