Knowledge is power. Most of my daily work consists of educating women on how their bodies and sexual psyche operate – something we all should have learned as teenagers with proper sexual education in schools.
Educational books about sexuality and love are the best way to dive deeper into learning about one’s sexuality and relationships. I advise everyone to read at LEAST 3-5 books per year to expand their knowledge and liberate themselves from old beliefs and assumptions.
2. ONLINE SEXUALITY COURSES
There is no need to invest in expensive sexual retreats, gurus, or workshops. Now you can learn the best sex techniques and sexual practices while wearing your pajamas and munching on popcorn!
Unfortunately, for most people, pornography has been their ONLY source of sexual education.
Thankfully, online sexuality courses created for adults are taking over the sexual wellness world! Yay!
German sex educators from Beducated have created premium online courses with step by step tutorials and extensive video explanations for singles and couples all over the world. Some of their courses include:
- How to pleasure a woman’s body
- How to gift the best blowjob
- How to find your own G-spot
- Exploring kink & bondage
- How to gift erotic massage
- The art of prostate massage
Beducated courses are tasteful and filmed with real-life nude models. The instructional videos are easy to follow and you learn from home, on your own time.
If you don’t enjoy reading, then online courses are the next best investment and something you can enjoy together with your honey.
The most important sexual relationship you will have in your life is with YOURSELF. How can you expect a lover to please you if you yourself do not know what gives you pleasure? How can someone turn you on if you have no idea what turns you on?
Invest your time and money in sensuality, self-care and self-loving (aka masturbation!).
A lazy 3-minute buzzing with the vibrator, late in the night, with your retainer already in your mouth does not count as self-pleasuring. Just sayin’…
Take your time making love to yourself and exploring your body.
4. TIME TOGETHER
The best investment lovers can make is in each other. Quality time together is priceless. Find ways to be together with just the two of you as far away as possible from kids, in-laws, work deadlines, and dirty dishes.
Watching Netflix together every night on the couch does not count as quality time. You can do better.
Suggest a monthly “surprise date” idea where each of you arranges one creative romantic date for the other. That means only two dates a month. You can do this, right?
Are you going to take your honey to a new gallery opening? Maybe share a bottle of wine and cupcakes on a bench? Are you planning a fun night at a boutique hotel? When was the last time you went to a spa together? What about a picnic in the park? How about recreating your first date?
5. VULNERABILITY & TRUTH
Couples imagine they need fancy communication skills to fuel sexual desire for each other. They don’t realize how simple it can be to just tell the truth. The power of revealing who you truly are and what you need heals the relationship and opens partners to more honest sexual desire.
If you think you are weird, chances are your partner is thinking the same about themselves. If you are insecure about something, I promise you, so is your partner!
If we don’t reveal ourselves to our partner then our intimate relationship stays forever stagnant and sexually dull.
Commit to making changes in your behaviors, attitudes, habits, and communication. Make a list of immediate and long-term actions for yourselves. Commit to checking it every few weeks to stay accountable.
6. HIGH-QUALITY TOYS & ACCESSORIES
Ask a modern woman to show you her sex box and she will blush with shame. Not everyone is willing to share their naughty pleasures.
The reality is, that just like our clothing, we own a bunch of things but only use a few consistently. All others were a spontaneous purchase which ended up being quite uneventful and wasteful.
Take a look at your sex toys collection. How many times have you used them? Was the investment worth it? How many times did you wear that choker? Did you use those nipple clamps more than once? Are you ever going to use that dusty rubber dildo again?
By buying loads of cheap sex toys and gadgets we end up cluttering our sex life. If an average toy is between 50-100 dollars, take a look into your sex drawer and make a small calculation of all the wasted money.
Good quality toys, made out of high-quality materials will last you a lifetime!
I believe in minimalist sex toy essentials:
- non-vibrating dildo
- couple’s vibrator
- butt plug or other anal pleasure toy
- sexy accessories which you TRULY love and wear
- high-quality lubricant & condoms
For non-vibrating toys, I love ONNA LIFESTYLE brand.
For vibrators, I love FUN FACTORY brand.
7. PERSONAL SEX COACHING / THERAPY
One of the main reasons why people struggle in their sex life is because they do not know who they truly are or what turns them on.
Negative sexual upbringing or past trauma can leave one feeling lost and alienated from their own sexuality. There is no shame in seeking sexual support from a professional.
With so much negativity surrounding sexuality, individuals are afraid to reach out for support, often leading unsatisfying (or even painful!) sex lives.
Working with a sex coach gives you an opportunity to share your current sexual challenges and desires in a shame-free environment. With proper support, you can plan a course of action for you to make immediate changes, explore your pleasure potential and build sexual self-esteem.
There is an overload of sexuality information on the internet. Having the support of a qualified specialist will guide you in the right direction for you!
8. JOY & PLEASURE
Many of us have taken something so beautiful and healing as sex and turned it into hard work. So many humans on this planet are suffering because they treat sex as something to achieve, rather than something to explore. Numerous women obsess over being pretty enough, sexy enough, desirable enough and work tirelessly to please their partners while fearing rejection and infidelity.
In the process, women forget all about their joy and pleasure. They turn sexual connection into hard work where they feel pressure to perform and fake orgasms.
I invite you to explore the more innocent and playful side of your sexual self. What is the silly sexy side of you look like? What gives you the most joy during sex? What kind of love-making makes you smile? When was the last time you received pleasure?
Do not take joy out of love-making. Give yourself the permission to enjoy your sex life. Joy IS love-making!
I hope you do not ever take your body, your relationships and your sexuality for granted.
Be kind to yourself and your loved ones. Love is your birthright and sex is one of the most pleasurable vehicles to explore it together.
Spend your time and money wisely.
With so much love,